Two top Republicans announced today their bids for the position formerly held by majority leader Tom DeLay. Among them was Majority Whip Roy Blunt (MO). Blunt is a robot programmed with Adept Technologies Near-Human Emotion (NHE) prototype matrix.
The NHE matrix allows the android the ability to nearly replicate three or four human emotions. The result is a certain creepiness Adept spokespeople have referred to as “an inevitable deficiency in robotkind for application in fields such as health care, customer service or pleasure, but a striking advantage in the realm of politics.”
The announcement comes after Rep. Tom DeLay, who was indicted last fall on charges including money laundering, conspiracy, and being from Texas, said that he would not attempt to reclaim his position as majority leader.
Given Issac Asimov’s Three Laws of robotics, Blunt would not be allowed to do anything to harm any humans, a quality many believe makes him a more appropriate candidate.
“We need someone cold and unfeeling in Congress,” said supporter Claudia Macinstry, “Someone without any questionable ties. Someone wihtout friends. I don’t know, I voted for Gore.”
Armed with strong support and a winning smile, Blunt was quoted as saying, “I feel nothing.”
Ha ha, I love the jab at Gore.
Capt. Kirk: ” Mr. Spock, how do you feel?”
Mr. Spock: “I do not understand the question.
To feel is a human response and contrary to logic.”
Bones: “Jim, don’t listen to a damn thing he says- Vulcan mind games, I tell you!”
Mr. Chekov: “Vee are laooking for dee Nuclear Wessels!”